


Things Didn’t Kill Me (But I Don’t Feel Stronger)

by all_we_see_is_sky



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Ben is in a coma, Callum is Best Step Dad, Fluff, Lexi is a Legend, Light Angst, M/M, Mainly Lexi and Callum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 04:11:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20576249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/all_we_see_is_sky/pseuds/all_we_see_is_sky
Summary: Callum wasn’t sure whether it was for Lexi’s benefit or his own when he leant down to wrap his own arms tight around her body. Hugging the girl felt strange at first, after all, she barely knew him. But in times like these, it didn’t matter. They were both worried about Ben, that was the only important thing.Aka, Callum decides to visit Ben in hospital and is greeted with a nice little surprise.





	Things Didn’t Kill Me (But I Don’t Feel Stronger)

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from If Ever I Stray by Frank Turner who is an awesome sort of folk punk singer/songwriter if you’re into that!

Callum had been too nervous to visit Ben in hospital. In a way, he felt like he didn’t have the right to show up worrying and stressing over Ben’s health. After all, nobody knew about the affair or about the mixed mess of emotions that the two of them shared, and most of the time, Callum had been mean and rude to Ben. Showing up felt almost hypocritical. 

When it reached the two week mark and he hadn’t heard much apart from the occasional ‘he’s doing alright’ from Jay, Callum couldn’t take it anymore. What did ‘alright’ mean? Callum knew Ben was in a coma but did ‘alright’ mean that he had woken up? Or did it mean that at least his heart was beating and he was breathing?

As silently as he could, almost as if one of Ben’s family members would hear him and stop him from seeing Ben, Callum walked through the hospital corridors and stopped outside of Ben’s room. The curtains were closed. Honestly? Callum felt a bit sick. Seeing Ben bleed out on The Queen Vic floor, leaving the pub with the man’s blood all over him, had been scarring enough, it still kept him up at night. Callum wasn’t sure how he was going to handle seeing Ben in a coma, plus he hadn’t even considered who else was going to be behind the door to greet him. 

Once the door was pushed open and Callum made his way inside, within an instant all he could hear was his own blood rushing in his ears, his heart pounding almost dangerously in his chest. It was a good thing he was in a hospital, he would be the one to need medical attention next. Callum didn’t notice anybody, didn’t want to notice anybody apart from Ben, as he made his way over to the bed, taking one of Ben’s hands in his. They had taken his ring off. He felt so cold, he felt too much like he had in The Vic and Callum found himself looking over at the monitors just to make sure everything really was okay. 

“Hello,” Callum practically jumped out of his skin at the gentle voice from behind him, turning slowly. He was greeted by the sight of Lexi sitting at a small round table surrounded by pens and pieces of paper. 

“Hello,” Callum repeated, ignoring the way that his hand was still firmly holding Ben’s. He was almost afraid something bad would happen if he let go, the same fear he felt about letting go of him after he got shot. 

“My mummy said you would probably visit soon. She’s getting me some juice. She also said I should say thank you to you, because you helped my daddy and that took a lot of bravery,” Lexi rambled, Callum’s heart ached just a little more in his chest. She was so sweet, she didn’t deserve the bad things that happened to her dad. As the young girl spoke, she stood from her seat and walked over to Callum, wrapping two arms tight around the man’s waist, she couldn’t reach any higher. “So, thank you,” she mumbled. 

Callum wasn’t sure whether it was for her benefit or his own when he leant down to wrap his own arms tight around her body. Hugging the girl felt strange at first, she barely knew him. But in times like these, it didn’t matter. They were both worried about Ben, that was the only important thing. 

After the long hug, the pair made their way back over to the small table although Callum’s eyes hardly drifted from Ben, only a couple of times to look down at Lexi and the masterpiece she was creating. “Everybody is so worried about my daddy, so are you. But I think people are dramatic. My daddy is always getting hurt by bad people, but he always gets better because he always tells me my bedtime story, even if he hurts,” she shrugged, speaking as though she had the answers to all of life’s questions. Callum smiled sadly down at her. Of course she was too young to understand the gravity of the situation but her outlook on life was almost inspiring. “He’ll get better, I promise,” one of her small hands landed on top of Callum’s to give it a gentle pat. Callum just continued smiling. 

“What’re you drawing?” Callum asked. If Callum was going to keep his tears at bay, he desperately had to move the conversation along. Despite the fact that Lexi seemed to have such an optimistic view in life, Callum didn’t want to worry her by letting himself cry. By the looks of things, considering how long she had been gone, Lola was probably letting herself cry everything out without her daughters prying eyes. 

“It’s a girl who’s not afraid of anything, she went to the zoo and she fell in with the lions. I don’t know what happens next because my daddy hasn’t got that far yet but I thought I would make him drawings for when he wakes up. I already did when she got to pet the giraffes and got to ride the zebra,” Lexi explained, pointing to the other two drawings. Looking at the scene in front of him, there wasn’t a single doubt in Callum’s mind that the story was about Lexi. Ben had told his own daughter a story about strength and bravery and sitting in the hospital, watching the way that Lexi seemed so content to just sit in her dads company without worrying, Callum knew that Ben and Lola had raised one of the fiercest little girls around. 

“Do you want to know a secret?” Lexi nodded eagerly. “I know the next part of your story. Your daddy told me it back when the accident happened,” Callum wasn’t sure how to speak to kids. Was it like speaking to animals? Or did they find that patronising too? Rather than risk offending or upsetting Lexi, Callum kept his voice even and friendly, making sure not to raise it too much. He didn’t want it to come across as forced or strained. By what Callum understood, kids could smell fear. 

“He did?” She gasped, eyes flicking over to the bed before looking back at Callum excitedly. “Can you tell me? I’m sure daddy wouldn’t mind!” Callum nodded numbly. He had no idea how to tell a kid a bedtime story. Still, he let Lexi take his hand and guide him over to her dads bed. Callum took a seat once she practically shoved him into the small chair by Ben’s bed. Like she had done this plenty times before, and who knows, maybe she had, Lexi climbed carefully up onto the bed with her dad, keeping well clear of his injured side and the wires and tubes that were coming out of him, slotting herself neatly into his side. “Okay,” she whispered, giving a little nod which was the all clear to begin the story. 

Unfortunately, Callum’s story telling wasn’t even in the same league as Ben’s, still, he tried his hardest. He recounted the tale of the lion roaring, the girl roaring straight back, and didn’t miss the way that Lexi’s lips twitched up into a slight smile before dropping into a peaceful state when the story eased her into a gentle sleep. Callum finally let a few tears roll down his cheeks. 

As much fun as it was to tell the young girl the next part of her father’s work of fiction, all Callum really wanted was for Ben to wake up and finish the story himself. 

**Author's Note:**

> It’s literally 7am rn and I woke up at 5am with this idea in my head and it wouldn’t leave me alone!! So I decided to go for it and write it before trying to go back to sleep! I’m not sure if something like this has been done already but I just adore the idea of Callum and Lexi together, I crave it so much honestly.


End file.
